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“The Love Myth” is a masterpiece for anyone seeking to know exactly what true love is all about and how it can be reached. If true love is possible, then it is reachable. With practical counsel and direction, the book offers readers the keys to finding and keeping true love. After all, “Love is Not a Myth!” Continue reading
prREACH
Mar 21, 2014 /prREACH/ -- The words, "Love" and "falling" in love are two different phenomena but are often erroneously regarded as the same. This error has led to so many heartaches, traumatic experiences and hurts. Spiraling from this error is also the idea of soul mate which is considered as the height of pursuit of true love. In his recent book “The Love Myth”, Dr. Goodwin Ude discusses the reasons why this idea of having a soul mate so compelling.
One reason is because built deep within every human being is the desire to belong. Children begin their lives by belonging to a family unit. The connections they form within the family in the early ears are vital for their development. When that family unit is dysfunctional or lacking, it can lead to many children developing neurotic or pathological issues.
As people grow, the need to belong remains every bit as strong, though many will begin to fill that need in places outside the home. This is the time when parents hope their children will hang out with a “good crowd” and find the right friends, because they know (probably from their own experiences during their teen years) that peer pressure is a very real thing. Cliques, groups and gangs can lead a young person toward a life of purpose and potential or the exact opposite. For many, associating with any group of people—even if it is obvious that the group doesn’t have a positive effect—is better than remaining alone.
Dr. Godwin Ude points out in “The Love Myth” that “this innate need to belong is what makes the idea of a soul mate so promising. It’s beautiful. It’s magical. It just the way things should be. It offers many the hope that if they can just find that one individual in the whole wide world who will complete them and always be with them, then they will hopefully lead a truly happy and fulfilled life. Rather than facing life alone, they will have someone to walk along that path with them, they assume.
When many do meet that person they think is “the one,” they feel suddenly on top of the world. As they stand there hand in hand, it seems there is nothing they cannot do or face together. “Love is all we need” becomes the motto, and it oozes from every pore, in every glance, and in every touch. The future is bright. They picture themselves taking romantic walks on moonlit beaches, with gentle ocean waves rolling along the shore and perpetual background music filling the starry night. It seems that forever is not enough time to discover the other person. They want to share every moment with him or her, know his or her every dream, and fulfill his or her every wish.
However, before long, this amazing discovery of the soul mate leads to its natural result: marriage or some other strong commitment. But before long, both partners come to realize that not every day is sunny. A misunderstanding or argument breaks out, and the clouds begin to roll in. One partner begins to pull back, and the nights no longer seem to be as starry as they once hoped. Sometimes the mist is so thick that not even a single guiding star can be seen, and the darkness is foreboding.
Soon, the realization dawns that perhaps the other person isn’t the soul mate after all. Tears are shed, promises are broken, the relationship is severed, and the marriage is ended. “‘I’ll be more careful next time,’ they promise themselves as they venture out into the world. Once more, they find themselves alone until the next chance meeting, the next flare of excitement and passion, and the next discovery. At last, they feel they have found their true soul mate, and the cycle begins once more.”
“The Love Myth” is a masterpiece for anyone seeking to know exactly what true love is all about and how it can be reached. If true love is possible, then it is reachable. With practical counsel and direction, the book offers readers the keys to finding and keeping true love. After all, “Love is Not a Myth!”
About the Author Dr. Godwin Ude, (PhD) is a Diplomate Certified Psychotherapist and Counselor (D-CPC) and a Certified Marriage Counselor (CMC) who specializes in family, marriage, and relationship counseling. He is the author of five books, including the best-seller “The Love Myth”. With degrees in pharmacy, counseling, theology, biblical studies, and theological integration of religion and society, he has committed himself to helping families and marriages thrive rather than survive. He and his wife, Blessing run Transformation Centre and Transformation Family Life Centre in Surrey BC.